If the child has been reared in a loving, affectionate, openly communicative environment, the relationship with parents would be a strong one. It is only when there are ongoing troubles in the relationship between parents and the child that there is a breakdown in communication. When parents are going through difficulties in their own relationship the child sometimes develops guilt. The child can hold himself or herself responsible for the breakdown in relationship between the parents. This needs to be explained to the child. Usually the child will not verbalize this guilt. The teenage years are emotionally sensitive years from the perspective of dealing with the outside world. For the first time the child realizes his or her position in society. Friends suddenly become more important than parents. It is during this time that the relationship between children and parents is tested. If the bond with parents is strong, the child will not be swayed by the drug and alcohol culture. If the bond is weaker, the child will end up with problems. During such times, one of the effective ways to deal with the problems is to discuss the problem with the child. As parents, you will need to discuss the consequences of each option and then leave the final decision to the child. Forcing parental will on children is counterproductive, especially at this age. Also imposing parental will at this time will make sure that your relationship with your child will also breakdown permanently. The child will stop communicating and then you will not know what is happening in their life. Whatever be the problem the child need never be made to feel alone. The moment that happens, the possibility of serious self-harm is raised. Suicide is a learnt behaviour. It is prevalent among young people too. When the child feels cornered, alone and not listened to, the probability of self-harm increases. Other factors that increase the probability of suicide are-confrontation with parents, reprimand of any kind and another suicide as an example(as by a friend ). Any problem at this age can be dealt with by a neutral approach by parents. Discuss things calmly. Leave the decision to the individual. Make yourself available for any help or support that the child desires. The child will feel comfortable when allowed the freedom of choice. Copyright- Pradeep K Chadha 2006 |
