For todays kids, the Internet chat room has become the 21st century equivalent of the shopping mall or other popular hangout. The most popular, MySpace.com, claims over 50 million users. Parents should be aware that these virtual meeting places are also where pedophiles "troll" for new victims. And theyre very clever too.

As a part of the pedophiles "grooming" process, the child gets messages that flatter and compliment them. Unknown to you, the pedophile slowly becomes an important part of your child's life by boosting their self-esteem. As the pedophile casually turns to the subject of sex, the "right" answers yield praise and the wrong replies produce silence. Eventually they may meet in person. Sometimes with tragic results. What can you do?

Heres what to look for if you suspect your son or daughter may be in danger online:

1.Does your child cover the monitor screen or quickly close an open browser window when you suddenly enter their room?
2.Do they seem angry or defensive when you enter the room while they're online, but remain calm otherwise?
3.Are they staying up (and online), much later than usual?
4.Do they immediately jump on the computer when they get home from school?
5.Do they prefer being online and shun extracurricular activities and family outings?

A common trick of pedophiles is to use a screen name designed to mask their true identity. Just because someone's screen name is "Heavensent," doesn't mean theyre really a young girl. "SurfBoy," may not be a teenage boy. As mentioned in the new feature film on this subject, Hamal_18, "You never know who you're really talking to."

A good rule-of-thumb is to never reveal any personal information (i.e.; phone number, address, real name, age, sex or school name), to anyone online. Your teens and pre-teens should never forget that someone else may be secretly monitoring their conversations, or "lurking." Your child's real friends will already know their personal information anyhow.

If there's just one Internet-connected computer in your home, avoid placing it in your child's bedroom where it will be difficult to observe. Favor a more public area "where everyone can use it." Set limits on computer usage: theyre great for homework, but not at 11:00PM. But, how can you find out exactly where your children are spending their online time?

Because most kids use an Internet browser like Internet Explorer or Netscape, heres a neat trick thats easy to remember. When either of these programs are open, hold down the Ctrl key while you press the letter H on the keyboard. This will automatically display a detailed history of every Internet location your child has recently been to.

Click twice on each line and view the places last visited by your child.

Here's what to look for:

1.Select "By Most Visited" from the drop down View" menu. Are there numerous entries for one website over a period of several weeks? For example, MySpace, or the groups hosted by Yahoo, Google or MSN?
2.Do you spot the word "sex," or any other troubling words in a listing?
3.Does any listing begin with the letters "alt" ? (a type of site where pornography is often displayed)
4.The letters "IRC" (Internet Relay Chat), indicate that your child has been to at least one site specifically to chat and nothing else. (IRC chat rooms are not maintained by any particular company like Yahoo, Google or MSN.)

If your childs a heavy computer user but the history list is empty, you should be concerned. Deliberately erasing or turning off the browser's history may mean they have something to hide.

Although many popular websites are "moderated," you must not assume that these chat rooms are safe. No moderator can be expected to review thousands of messages.

Internet Messenger, or "IM" allows real-time communication between users. This extremely popular technology provides an easy way of sending short messages as well as actual voice chat, webcams, file swapping and photo exchange. Its also widely used on cell phones and other hand-held devices. Most popular is AOL's Instant Messenger, but there are others including Yahoo and MSN's Messenger program.

Sexual predators love IM because:

They can operate in relative anonymity.
Easy to contact children by using member directories and profiles.
Simple to have a private one-on-one conversation.
They can easily contact children because they know when theyre online.
Can send sexually-related messages and images.

Here's a few tips to make using AOL's Instant Messenger safer:

1.Open AOL Instant Messenger's Preferences screen by clicking on My Aim, then Edit Options, followed by Edit Preferences.
2.Select Privacy from the list of options.
3.You will see an area at the bottom of the box which is titled: Allow users who know my email address to find
4.Select Nothing about me.
5.Now, select Talk from the list of other options.
6.In the box labeled, When others want to talk with you, select Don't Allow.
7.Now, select IM/Chat from the list on the left
8.Deselect the check box labeled Show Accept Message dialog for messages from users not on my Buddy List.

Despite these dangers, the Internet can help you protect your children too.

Using information made available by the Megan's Law, you can locate convicted sex offenders living near you. A good place to start is at the FBIs website:

http://www.fbi.gov/hq/cid/cac/states.htm

Use your home zip code as the main search criteria. Then, look at a map and determine which listed sex offenders are between your home and your child's school, the shopping mall, a friends house, etc. Drive or walk by all the places youve located and show them to your children. Before you know it, theyll begin to tell all their friends and the whole neighborhood will be a safer place to live.

For more information: http://www.hamal18.com (click on the For Parents tab)