When I was growing up it always seemed to me that everyone around me had something that I did not have and I just had to have it! That was 'respect'.

From my elders to the older boys in my primary school, they all had respect from people or others around them. This always fascinated me, not knowing exactly how I would feel to have respect but just how I would handle it. So I went out of my way to get respect, not by stealing or fighting just by sticking up for myself and low and behold it worked. With just my mother as my only parental guidance, she ruled the roost with an Iron fist but what do you expect with four children to bring up on her own. So with all of this going on in my life and the feeling of being very much alone, it instilled itself within me and my soul to this day.

How did it all happen? Well it just takes someone to ruffle your feathers and then peer pressure automatically takes over, i.e. Your friends surround you and see if you have any guts basically to go through with it and face your demons and I am sure it still happens today, in fact these days, its much worse.

There I was, a young boy playing football with my mates when the school bully comes along and takes away the ball! What did I do, I must have been crazy at the time but my actions that day changed my life. I walked over to him (the bully) and simply asked back for the ball...with my legs trembling away and thinking what the hell am I doing, the bully did just what all bullies do, and that was to try and take me out of the equation a.s.a.p. In my case, fortunately! I could actually handle myself and ironically the bully's mates came to my rescue! You see because I was ready to go toe to toe with this guy his friends thought it was cool that a small kid with wide fiery eyes had the balls, as they say to stand up and be counted for, apparently it never happened before! They got involve and stopped what was about to happen, which would probably have been me getting a right beating! But I am sure I would have given as well as I might have got. Well! He was very tall! And that's how it all started for me. I gained respect for sticking up for myself and the rest is history. I am who I am today because of it.

But why has it all gone down hill? Why has gaining respect changed in the eyes of the new generation? Well my insight is this: people change, generations grow differently and money is ever more so important. Having loads of money means status and always will, but try telling that to a young teenager who wants to be better than next teen! These are 'the days' of street culture where urban music dominates the mainstream music charts, the way the young dress and the culture of being able to 'Bling'. Then there is the drugs culture, from the major movers of this society killer to the small dealers on the streets corners of every major city around the UK. If you add it all up you get a new revolution, which dictates the way the world is. Yes, it really is that bad!

Who do you blame? The parents, the Government, Hip Hop Music...Personally I blame the way we instill the fact that money is the be all, and end all, of being alive and to grow up with but still we have people staving in the world! Is that all respect? I don't think so. With guns so easy accessible the easiest way; and may I add the coward's way, to earn respect these days is to shoot someone. This seems to be happening all the time in the UK. Why? Well these days there is no respect. The word 'respect' has change and has become so saturated by the way we perceive it that it has become so unrecognisable. However, deep down I know that the innate goodness in most of us the word 'respect' still actually means something and we, who know and understand the meaning or meanings of this word, will always keep it true in our hearts and behave within its true meanings. My life is shaped around respect. Respect for my elders and for people in general but what I hate the most now, and it makes my heart sad, is that the world uses the word 'Respect' and shows it none! But what I remember most about that day when I gained some respect as a young boy defending himself and when the dust had settled; all my friends individually came up to me and said, 'Respect Man'. I guess that says it all...

Mark J Stevens 2005