Men and women are always curious about how to engage each other in conversations about money. What questions are OK to ask? When do you start asking direct questions about money?

Everybody wants to be sure they are financially compatible before they commit to a long-term partnership, but very few are comfortable talking about the issues.

Being able to accurately assess financial compatibility is an essential aspect of the dating process and can also be a helpful skill in existing relationships as well. There is no substitute for spending time together in many different situations, listening carefully to personal sharing, and observing behavior.

Let's talk about your money personality. Your money personality is not dependent on how much money you earn. It has specifically to do with values, beliefs, concepts, fears, and fantasies about money.

Ask yourself these questions:

What did your parents tell you about money?

What did you learn from observing your parents and their habits around money and with money matters?

What are your beliefs about earning, spending, saving, tithing, investing, and credit?

What are your ideas about earning more or less money than your partner?

Would you be willing/able to support someone temporarily? Long-term?

Would you be willing/able to let someone support you temporarily? Long-term?

Do you enter each check in the register and balance your checkbook each month or not? What does it say to you about another person who does or does not do this?

What do you spend money on?

Do you pay attention to price?

How well do you know yourself? How easily were you able to answer these questions? What other questions do you have?

Before you open up a discussion about money be sure to clarify your own money psychology and become aware of your beliefs, needs and issues related to money.

When you are dating, it is never too early to offer your points of view about anything to do with money and to listen and observe carefully what others think and say about money.

There is nothing about which to feel embarrassed or ashamed. You are in charge of how you handle money.

Money issues come up sooner or later so you might as well be up front from the start. Your money personalities do not have to be the same as the people you are dating or even the same as your ideal partners.

The critical question is how do the differences affect you? Can you live with the consequences that may result from the differences?

Some differences can be easily accommodated. Some differences can cause uneasiness in your relationship resulting in resentments that outlive the love.

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!

Copyright Dr. Jackie Black 1999-2005

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