One of biggest obstacles to success is the fear of failure, the fear that we will become or be perceived as, a loser. The fear of failure holds more people back from achieving success and happiness in their life then perhaps any other factor.

Yet when you truly examine failure, you realize that failure is an outcome. Its an effect. Its a result. Its a conclusion. Its a judgment that someone has pronounced as an unacceptable standard of performance.

Vince Lombardi, who was arguably the greatest football coach in history, said, Winning isnt everything, its the only thing. I have the greatest respect and admiration for Coach Lombardi, but I disagree with him on this, because in essence what he said is that if you are not number one, you didnt win. Therefore you are a looser or a failure.

In fact if you have this mindset you are in trouble, because no matter what you do, statistics dictate that there can be only one winner. It follows then, that there will be many losers.

This leaves you with three choices:

1. Win every time, which is rare.

2. Lose constantly and be miserable.

3. Dont every try.

In real life, however, there are very few sure things. In fact, usually the opposite is true. The world is filled with constant change and uncertainties, and the outcome of any action you take always has a probability of success.

On the other hand, there is always a chance of error, but if you always go with what you believe is the closest thing to a sure shot, you virtually guarantee that you wont grow very much. To grow means that you have to wander out into the unknown occasionally and take a risk.

Most of our limits are absolutely self-imposed and fear driven. You have to face the things that frighten you in order to realize that they are not as bad as they seem. Things are almost never as bad as we think they are going to be. Unfortunately, in the course or our daily life, we are usually able to avoid the things we fear, and that keeps us from growing and achieving the success we all deserve.

Its easy to guarantee success every time. All you need to do is change your standard of acceptable performance. The only time you really fail at something is when you do not learn anything from the experience. When you miss a target or a goal, dont condemn yourself or make yourself miserable. View it as an opportunity to learn how to do better next time.

When you approach setbacks this way, you can boldly face your fears head on. You will know that when you try something that didnt work, the worst thing that can happen is that you might learn something. You can then try something new, different, or better and you will eventually discover something that works. Using this approach allows you to replace the pain of failure with a sense of positive expectation.

When you do the thing you fear the most and replace the pain of failure with a sense of positive expectation, you will feel better and youll be in a positive state of mind. Youll be in a state of mind that allows you to achieve your goal and not be afraid of failing. Its this state of mind that will allow you to grow and succeed every time.

Copyright2006 by Joe Love and JLM & Associates, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide.