Using humour in communication has risks. People may misinterpret what is being said, they may take offence at the joke or they may just not think that it was all that funny. There is no doubt, though, that using humour well can help to build rapport, relax people and show that you're human. It can, also, help to de-fuse difficult situations

There are, I think, no specific rules of when and when not to use humour, it will depend upon the situation, the people present and most importantly, their mood or receptivity

The answers to these questions are a matter of personal judgement based upon circumstances at the time.

The use of humour in most situations, though, is not a rational logical process. You are more likely to respond instinctively to a given set of circumstances. For this reason 'observational' humour or 'word play' is usually most effective because it is a response to what is happening at the present time and in which everyone is involved.

Jokes, on the other hand, tend to be 'after the event' and so are perfect for social situations. Even so, you still need to be careful to ensure that the jokes you are telling are suitable for the people present, otherwise you risk excluding someone or of offending them. This is increasingly the case in our modern multi-cultural society. A good communicator is able to express themselves sin ways that are good for anyone listening.

I have experienced subtle humour at a funeral and seen a sad occasion brightened by the laughter of everyone present. I've seen doomed business negotiations rescued by a funny comment that made everyone realise how ridiculous they were being. It takes a certain type of person to be able to use humour effectively and, to be honest, not everyone can do it well. You probably know by now whether you're witty or good at telling jokes. If not, it's probably best to avoid it and to communicate more effectively in the ways that you can excel.

Ian Cooper Eyedeecee Management Ltd, 2005 - All rights reserved